On Valentine’s Day And Bizarre Restaurant Experiences…


Happy February 15th!

I hope you all went out and took advantage of the amazing candy sales today. I paid a visit to Walmart and Publix this afternoon, and there were giant bins filled with 50% off Valentine’s candies, also known as, the only shopping I’m interested in participating in. Walmart had even marked down their giant teddy bears from $39 to $10- so you’re only being moderately raped instead of viciously raped for a giant, plush, dust collector. What a steal.

I am pleased to say my family and I had a lovely Valentine’s Day. On the way to Carl’s school, in typical Christine fashion, I picked up some heart shaped lollipops and taped them to the Valentine’s he wrote while we were in the car, on the way to his school. I am a firm believer in preparedness, and that is obvious by how well prepared we were that morning. Speaking of preparedness, I was obviously the giant underachiever on Valentine’s Day at Carl’s school, because I witnessed a fellow mom hauling bags of crap for the Valentine’s party into Carl’s school. I guess she was trying to make the rest of us look bad. I’m just over here, proud of my heart shaped lollipops. No need to get all competitive, lady. Pinterest isn’t cutting you a paycheck.

After we picked Carl up from school, we took all three kids out to lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings, and I guess the gods must’ve been smiling down on me kindly yesterday, because not only did I get to eat my entire meal without refereeing any fights, but all three of my kids sat quietly, ate neatly, and did not scream/flail/crawl under the table/attempt to eat someone else’s food/get us all kicked out of the dining establishment. Because of how utterly surprised I was at their excellent behavior, my husband and I decided to take them to Coldstone for some ice cream afterwards, where they must’ve decided to save all of the crappy stuff they could’ve done at Buffalo Wild Wings, and saved it for Coldstone. After an amazing game of tag throughout the entire ice cream parlor, an awesome display of acrobatic prowess on the belts that cordon off the line at Coldstone, and taste testing every single ice cream in the place before deciding on plain old chocolate, we decided to head home.

Today, we went to a pizza place for lunch, and I had an interesting experience there. I saw someone who I knew, and based on the way she looked at me, I can tell she remembered me, too. Now, I would’ve just greeted her normally and asked her how she was doing, you know, like normal folks do. Well, for reasons unbeknownst to me, this girl flew past me like she owed me money, leaving me feeling very puzzled. There was never any bad blood between us, and I’m wondering if maybe she just really had to go drop a deuce or something. That experience leads me to this conclusion: I am going to teach my children to not treat other people like lepers. I swear, had I not known any better, I would’ve thought I was suffering from the bubonic plague, and she was just trying to get away before she caught it, too. I mean, I always thought she was a teensy bit weird, but today, her behavior only confirmed my suspicions.

Anyhow, while we were enjoying some delicious pizza for lunch today, I got to put my incredible parenting skills on display for all the diners at the restaurant to see, when Mallory choked on a green crayon, then threw the child’s menu, then Leland said the word “shit!” when he lost a game he was playing on his Kindle. I always love when I’m able to show people how it’s done. Parenting: I haz da skillz.

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